The tyranny of beauty

Lunching with Mary Greenwell yesterday I heard that there is no longer any reality in magazines. There are no photographs, apart from paparazzi ones, that are not airbrushed and photoshopped. No-one hasn't had botox, fillers, at the very least. This means that the (apparent) gap between what we look like and that the celebs look like gets wider every day. Born beautiful, they appear not to age.

Here's Lisa Armstrong in the Times yesterday talking about our lookist society:

One only has to see the Daily Mail's “Woman in parka shocker!” caption that accompanied a picture of Tessa Jowell on Monday to see how applying exacting sartorial standards across the board has become a habit. It's one thing to hold Madonna or Kate Moss up to scrutiny, or even to have fun with Carla Bruni, who is playing up to her new role sensationally - as befits a former supermodel. Inevitably, Sarah Brown got swept up in the forensic dissection of the French First Lady's outfits - and (hands up) The Times, along with other papers, ran unfavourable comments on the former's appearance. The entire female flank of the French Cabinet has recently had their wardrobes pored over as if they were auditioning to fill in for Cate Blanchett on the red carpet while she takes a spot of maternity leave.

In fairness, some of them looked as though they were auditioning. What's puzzling is the derisory tone of some of the commentary and the degree to which jibes about a woman's taste in footwear become a form of covert sniping about her character (the derision, by the way, doesn't generally come from fashion writers). Increasingly, looks are used to define women who never set out to compete by those rules.

“The fact that women are seemingly colluding doesn't make it harmless,” argues Sheila Jeffreys, the feminist author of Beauty And Misogyny: Harmful Cultural Practices in the West. “Sitting around bitching about how bad other women look won't ultimately make you feel better. Today's emphasis on looks - and the scorn heaped on anyone who doesn't conform - is incredibly unhealthy because it normalises painful and sometimes dangerous cosmetic procedures, promotes uncomfortable and immobilising clothes, fosters an epidemic of eating disorders and creates a tyranny of youth, under which no one is allowed to age.

“The principles of beauty have always been part of the mating ritual, but they're now routinely practised in the workplace. We're seeing that, even in politics, women are required to look a certain way: high heels, tighter-fitting clothes, lipstick. It's a free world, but in reality there's very little choice involved. There's virtually no challenge to the wall of thin, youthful images. The definition of what's attractive is becoming narrower.”

And while Western women are under pressure to show more and more of their bodies, Muslim women are increasingly veiling themselves. “It's a different manifestation of the same condition. I don't see either as empowering,” says Jeffreys.

Therein lies what seems to be the mother of paradoxes. More than 30 years after bra-burning and lipstick-abstaining, most Western women earn their own money, many work in worlds previously closed to them and a few occupy the top slots. Male babies outnumber females by 104 to 100 - so in theory women have never been more powerful. So why perpetuate, and even inflate, criteria that seem more relevant to women living in a harem?

Mary replies Tuesday

I had lunch today with Mary Greenwell and she has incredibly generously agreed to respond to as many of your questions as she has actual answers for.

We will be working on the responses on Monday and I will post them on Tuesday.

The ethical handbag

I don't claim to go out of my way to buy ethically, though I won't buy very cheap and I won't buy faked, but the Guardian today has a gallery of ethical handbags. This one is made in Cambodia out of scraps that would be thrown away onto landfill sites. It costs only £45 from
By La Vie Devant Soie and you can buy it online at adili.com

Reuters interview

I was interviewed six weeks ago in Singapore, and finally here it is

Q: Do you think women understand the psychology of clothes better than men?

A: "It's very rare to come across women who say I don't care what I wear and what I look like. And I think even when they say that they don't mean it. Or what they mean is they've given up, they just don't think they can find anything that suits them.

I've watched with great interest the psychology of these makeover shows, (such as) Trinny and Susannah, and how very much those women want to be transformed. They want to look in the mirror and think they look the best that they can look. They understand how very well clothes can transform you... I think women get and understand what I'm trying to say about clothes, on a deeper level."

Hilary Alexander explains Jaeger

It was at the V&A's 150th birthday party that I saw Hilary Alexander looking incredibly chic in a MaxMara jacket and Jaeger dress that finally sent me down to Regent Streret to take a look.

Here she is, on video, talking through the store's makeover

Robert Clergerie

not the ones I bought

I finally broke down yesterday and went to the Robert Clergerie shop on Wimpole Street, at the top of St Christopher's Place. Top Baby Lia's mother, Ruth, was quite right, they're fantastic, the best shoes for wide feet. And very expensive, but what can you do?

To go into a shop and say, what lovely shoes, can I try these, and they say yes, and yes we have them in your size, and yes, look they fit, and yes, they are comfortable, and yes, I can walk in them and as Molly Bloom would say, yes yes yes yes, and so it's over to the cash register and out with the Amex and yes.

Put out the black flags

The Times tells us it's the end of the dress. Instead we have to wear short, highwaisted skirts, with tops tucked in and skyscraper heels.

Yeah, right.

Ask Mary: An occasional series begins

Mary Greenwell , make-up artist to Uma Thurman, Cate Blanchet, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightly, Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen and who began her career in Paris in the 80s working with Christy Turlington, Stephanie Seymour, Tatiana Patitz, Linda Evangelista and Cindy Crawford (enough already! do you want to make us feel totally insecure?) has graciously agreed to take occasional make-up and beauty queries from Thoughtful Dresser readers..

To kick off, I asked her if it was necessary to wear primer under foundation, what it did and which one she would recommend.

Here's her answer

I would rather someone spent the money on something MORE BENEFICIAL.
Yes, the primer will prep the skin but is unnecessary if the skin is cleansed, exfoliated, and moisturized properly. Daily maintenance of a good skin regime is the best primer. A bit like going to the gym, as then you do not need to wear support and lifting knickers and tights (maybe).

If you decide to opt for the primer route, go for Laura Mercier or Chanel.

If you'd like to post your questions to Mary, bang 'em out in the comments below and I'll pick the best (or most popular) ones and pass them on for her consideration.

Remember, this is like asking Einstein for help with your maths homework.

Re comments below - the make-up look we'd prefer to avoid

The Polish au pair

I've just come back from the Oxford Literary Festival the highlight of which was a session this morning with Tom Stoppard.

He brilliantly described the process of writing as going to bed at night thinking that your day's work was 'really okay' then waking the next morning, re-reading it, and discovering that 'the Polish au pair has re-written it in the night.

A couple of weeks ago, in article about 1968, he observed:

A small incident which must have confirmed some people’s worst suspicions about me occurred when I was asked to sign a protest against “censorship” after a newspaper declined to publish somebody’s manifesto. “But that isn’t censorship,” I said. “That’s editing. In Russia you go to prison for possessing a copy of Animal Farm. That’s censorship.”

I was introduced to him at a party at lunchtime. He congratulated me on being long-listed for the Orange Prize. I feel certain someone must have put him up to this, but still, it's as good as actually winning the prize (apart, of course from the cheque.)

How to team black and blue

Apparently I'm in the groove because I have a couple of dark blue coats, one Cos one from the Jean Muir closing down sale, which I wear with LBDs and black patent shoes

Here's Jess on how to put it together:

Wearing blue and black together takes a bit of getting used to. It's a combination that is neither all-out moody, like black and grey, nor straight-up chipper, like blue with white, but betwixt and between, like a shadow on a sunny day. Handy for days that are neither red-letter, nor a washout, but somewhere in the middle.

However, done badly, black and blue looks like a cheap-trying-to-be-cheerful school or checkout uniform. Be aware of this pitfall in daywear - a boxy navy blazer and straight black skirt, for instance, are to be avoided. To give this particular danger a wide berth, you need to add to the mix something out of the workaday: a slinky fabric, a spot of sharp tailoring, foxy shoes, whatever. It is tempting to opt for baby blue rather than bright blue with black, because it seems like a softer combination, but that looks like business wear. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not fashion, darling.

Ask Mary

Monday brings a brand new occasional series to The Thoughtful Dresser. I have secured the series of make-up goddess Mary Greenwell who will be asking readers' questions about make-up and beauty.

Who she, again? That would be Mary Greenwell whose celebrity clients include Uma Thurman, Cate Blanchet, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightly, Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen. Who began her career in Paris in the 80s working with Christy Turlington, Stephanie Seymour, Tatiana Patitz, Linda Evangelista and Cindy Crawford. By 1985 she was working for all five Vogues on a weekly basis and created the no make-up look we all work so hard to achieve. Today she runs a course where for £1000 you will be taught how to do your own make-up. Though I hit make-up heaven last year when I met her at a party and she invited me to come and sit on the sofa while she redid my face, and sent me off for a whole new kit.

Check back on Monday when Mary will answer the question I posed to her yesterday afternoon, and you'll have a chance to ask your own, and I'll pick the best ones and put them to her.

Who wrote this?

The Court of Appeal decides



I was 16 in the summer this was released, and no other song can take me straight back to that time and give me goose bumps, as if I were time travelling

A few, banal little clouds

Belatedly I have discovered that the Guardian's excellent art critic Adrian Searle has been doing a series of podcasts in which he talks about art works. Here he is describing John Davies' photo of the Trafford Centre, in which you will hear a human voice studying an art work and seeing what amateurs like ourselves usually miss.

Mary goes shopping

Readers with long memories may remember the Christmas party I went to when Kate Moss's make-up artist Mary Greenwell said that if I came and sat down on the sofa she'd re-do my make-up. Here is Mary in the Guardian today on her life in shopping,

Including:

What do you take in your makeup bag when you travel?

A La Prairie moisturiser, a Chanel Silhouette lipstick, a Sisley mascara and a Guerlain bronzer and concealer. With those things, you'll always look made up.

It's not the ooh-la-la factor

Rachida Dati, France's Justice Minister

There has been a lot of debate and discussion about why French women are like that and not like this.

The following, in my view, nails it:

For many sociocultural reasons there has always been more complicity between men and women in France than in Anglo-Saxon cultures, and that complicity breeds a different kind of woman. This is at the heart of fascination with French women. Franco-American actress Charlotte Rampling once said that "French women have been made beautiful by French people. They're very aware of their bodies, the way they move and speak; they are very confident of their sexuality."

My cousin's French partner would be shocked if he did not, at home at the weekend, sit down to a three course lunch on Saturday with napkins in napkin holders and a glass of excellent wine. And shocked if my cousin was not always beautifully dressed.

When to keep your clothes on

courtesy of Norm, from the NY Times

Let’s face it — this may be a gender issue. Brainy women are probably more sensitive to literary deal breakers than are brainy men. (Rare is the guy who’d throw a pretty girl out of bed for revealing her imperfect taste in books.) After all, women read more, especially when it comes to fiction. “It’s really great if you find a guy that reads, period,” said Beverly West, an author of “Bibliotherapy: The Girl’s Guide to Books for Every Phase of Our Lives.” Jessa Crispin, a blogger at the literary site Bookslut.com, agrees. “Most of my friends and men in my life are nonreaders,” she said, but “now that you mention it, if I went over to a man’s house and there were those books about life’s lessons learned from dogs, I would probably keep my clothes on.”

It isn't autobiographical

From today's Guardian

I have just published another novel, The Clothes on Their Backs. And once more: I am not the child of timid Hungarian refugees, nor have I ever had a slum-landlord uncle. I did not grow up in a mansion block off Marylebone High Street. None of my relatives were survivors of second world war slave labour units. I did not have an early marriage that ended in disaster on the honeymoon. I am not a widow; I don't have two daughters. It is all a tissue of lies and invention.

More than a decade ago, a literary editor sent me to interview the Irish novelist John McGahern, whose book The Dark was about sexual abuse. McGahern met me at the station and took me to his farmhouse in Leitrim. We sat outside on the porch before dinner and talked about writing. He discussed the function of the precise placing of the paragraph break. He described it as, "like tact, in conversation". When I got back to London, the literary editor said, "Didn't you ask him if he was abused?" I had finished the novel on the train to Leitrim, my heart hammering like an iron clapper against the ribs, and what the hell difference would it have made to me to know that sometime in the 40s the author had been fiddled with by his old dad? For such knowledge is the business of the peeping tom who looks through the cracks in drawn curtains at other people's privacy.

And why my intense irritation at this persistent, boring and inane insistence that fiction must be autobiographical? Because it reduces the imagination to material for journalism; it takes an axe to fiction. Such journalism tells me of the reading public's growing fascination with what it considers to be the authentic, the "misery memoir". Is the imagination now regarded as "spin"? For writers of fiction are what they are: those who make things up, who exaggerate, who cannot be trusted with the facts, whose inner world is more realistic than the one outside the window.

How to wear red

Roberta McCain (mother of the candidate), aged 95

Trussed up

Apparently some women have a hard time dressing down:

Slader also suggests looking at the choices made by women in the public eye to assess what works. "Twiggy looks great in her white linen trousers," she says, "but Helen Mirren, who looks fabulous on the red carpet, tries to be too vampy in black leather when she's dressing down. Kristin Scott Thomas looks classic in jeans and a simple shirt, but Victoria Beckham is bad at dressing casually - those wedge trainers she wore in LA recently were ridiculous. Sienna and Savannah Miller always look lovely in natural fabrics."

100,000

At 4.04 am this morning, this site received its one hundred thousandth visitor.

I started The Thoughtful Dresser at the end of October 2007, not really knowing whether I would keep it up for even a month. It has been a fantastic discipline for me to find something to say or to point out every day (travel and holidays allowing) and a total delight to discover that so many intelligent people are interested, like me, in clothes. I know you come from universities, large corporations, government departments, and embassies. I know you come from every country in the world which has easy access to the internet. I know some of you come from countries where women's lives are severely restricted and for whom sites like this one are the only opportunity to talk and think about clothes.

I have almost never had to moderate comments. You have made superb contributions. Thank you for coming and for making this site what is for me a small but ever fascinating success.

My thanks to all of you.